“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.”
“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”
From a distance and in you mind things may seem very difficult and frightening. But when you actually step up and take action I think many of us have been surprised of how the beard of that bully just comes off.
You can’t sit around think and waiting for courage and confidence to come knocking on the door. If you do, you may just experience the opposite effect. The more you think, the more fear you build within.
As you may have noticed in your own life, 80-90 percent of what we worry about never really comes into reality. Instead things can become anticlimactic when we take action. The beard of the bully comes off surprisingly easy if we just step up and take action.
And many times we get the courage we need after we have done what we feared. Not the other way around.
4. Fear is often based on unhelpful interpretation.
As humans we like to look for patterns. The problem is just that we often find negative and not so helpful patterns in our lives based on just one or two experiences. Or by misjudging situations. Or through some silly miscommunication.
5. Don’t cling to your illusion of safety.
Why do people sit on their hands? Is it just because they become paralyzed with fear? I’d say no. Another big reason why people don’t face their fears is because they think they are safe where they are right now. But the truth is what Keller says; safety is mostly a superstition. It is created in your mind to make you feel safe. But there is no safety out there really. It is all uncertain and unknown
You may get laid off. Someone may break up with you and leave. Illness will probably strike. Death will certainly strike in your surroundings and at some point come to visit you too. Who knows what will happen?
6. Be curious
That there is no real separation between beings, that we are one and the same, might sound a bit corny.
But one thought you may want to try for a day is that everyone you meet is your friend.
Another one is to see what parts of yourself you can see in someone you meet. And what parts of yourself you can see in him/her.
There is often an underlying frame of mind in interactions. Either it asks us how we are different to this person. Or how we are the same as this person. The first frame is based in how the ego likes to judge people and create separation to strengthen itself (either through feeling better or more like a victim). The second one creates warmth, an openness and curiosity within. There is no place to focus on fear or judgement anymore.
This is of course not easy, especially if you have held the first frame of mind for many years. But you can get insight into this by doing the rest of the things above. As you face your fears the barriers and separation you have built in your mind decreases. You come closer and feel more of a connection to other people.
With action, curiousness and understanding we come closer to each other. We gain a greater understanding of ourselves and others. And so it becomes easier to see them in you. And you in them.